Put Peace Back in Mother's Day

by Marcia Angle and Naila Bolus

For moms, nothing is more important than making the world safe for their children. Mother's Day was originally founded in America as a holiday to unite women against war. Yet today we are bombarded with news and images of warfare and violence.

In proposing a "Mother's Day for Peace" more than a century ago, the American abolitionist and women's rights advocate Julia Ward Howe called on women to use their powerful maternal instincts to turn the world around.

Howe witnessed firsthand the horrors of the Civil War and the scourge of violence, death and disease that claimed the lives of soldiers both on and off the battlefield. She worked with widows and orphans of both Union and Confederate soldiers and later traveled to Europe, where she encountered the devastation of the Franco-Prussian War. In response to all this, she called on mothers of the world to gather to work for peace, as she proclaimed the first special day in their honor in 1870:

"Arise, then, women of this day!" she wrote, "`Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience."

What can we do?

More than a century later, our nation is again at war. Today, more than ever, it's time for us to put peace back into Mother's Day.But how can we do this? Most of us can't just pack up our bags for Iraq or Sudan or other conflict-torn regions badly in need of peace building. Nor can we step in and broker peace negotiations among warring nations.

Still, there are many things we can do on Mother's Day, or any other day, to promote the ethics of peace that Howe envisioned.

• Make room for peacemakers. Even though the daily news focuses overwhelmingly on conflict, this is only part of the story. To kindle a sense of hope in our children and grandchildren, we can tell them about people who are working to make the world safer and more secure for us all.

Why not use Mother's Day to talk about what inspiring and courageous moms are doing around the globe? Moms like Wangari Matthai, the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize winner whose Green Belt Movement motivated thousands of ordinary citizens in Kenya to overcome fear and a sense of helplessness and to defend democratic rights. Or Susan Granada of the Nonviolent Peaceforce, who works on the ground in Sri Lanka to facilitate dialogue between opposing sides in that country's civil war. Or Susan Shaer of Women's Action for New Directions, who works to ensure that women have a seat at the table on Capitol Hill. You can find more stories about moms working for peace at www.rediscovermothersday.org.

• Break down barriers. Most wars and violent conflict can be traced to clashing ideologies that have drowned out our common humanity.

Introduce your children to different cultures by inviting people of different races, nationalities, religions and cultures into your home. Visiting their houses of worship can break down barriers that could contribute to hate and misunderstanding. Encourage your children to stand up for any child who is being bullied, even when it is unpopular to do so.

• Be a role model. There are many ways to model your values. Practice resolving everyday conflicts by asking questions rather than rushing to judgment. Mend fences whenever possible. Speak out against injustice in your community and in the world. Volunteer for and make family donations to groups that work for peace. Explain to your child on Election Day why you're voting and what you're voting for.

• Consume ethically. Talk to your children about shopping decisions you make to support products from companies that protect our environment and countries with good human and workers' rights records. And work with your family to use energy wisely, because reducing our dependence on fossil fuels makes us all more secure.

War enters our homes on a daily basis through the TV, over the Internet and in conversation at the dinner table. As parents and grandparents, we owe it to our kids to make sure peace gets an equal hearing. Mother's Day is the perfect chance to begin that conversation, to hold a space in our homes for something better.

How do we talk to our children about war? The answer is simple: Talk to them about peace.