Harry Potter

Here is the sum of my Harry Potter experience: I read half the first book and struggled to stay awake through the first movie. Yet somehow, without trying, without wanting to know, without visiting any Harry Potter websites, clicking any Harry Potter links or watching a single episode of Access Hollywood, I have learned that Harry Potter and theDeathly Hallows is the seventh book in the series, it was released at a minute past midnight on Friday, it's the last book in the series and it's expected to chronicle the deaths of two characters, one of whom may be Harry.

I couldn't even tell you where I learned all this, just that it's been pounded into my disinterested head to the point where I feel like I've always known it. Such is life in the era of viral knowledge.

My personal gag reflex was triggered when a certain newspaper, which we'll call ''The Miami Herald,'' published a piece, complete with quotes from worried mothers and the obligatory advice from talking heads, on how to help your children cope if Harry is killed.

Beg pardon, but I seem to recall that a previous generation of children saw Bambi's mother killed by the hunter without the need for grief counselors standing by.

And if you think the point is, what prissy wimps we have become, well, yes. But it's also this: Shouldn't you be able to safely peruse the health section without being ambushed by Harry Potter "news''?

--Leonard Pitts